December 16, 2017
I logged on to my website today and realized the last posts were in November. Immediately, I grimaced and realized I had forgotten to post Bible study sessions and contributor blogs. Somewhere around Thanksgiving, I lost all sense of time. My rather blank calendar became full of birthday parties, school events, special church services, overtime at work, and more. Twenty year old me would've gotten around to posting those sessions and blogs. She would've been on top of it, with energy to spare. Thirty three year old me, however, is tired. Thirty three year old me just wants to lie on the couch and binge watch The Crown.
Why is it, as we get older, we let this season get the best of us? We over-commit, over-promise, and completely over-extend ourselves. Yes, I will make those cookies Yes, I will send Christmas cards to cousins I haven't seen in a decade. Yes, I will sign up for toy drives and luncheons. While I'm saying yes to all the "stuff" that comes with Christmas, I tend to completely ignore myself. I start eating weird stuff for dinner, like strawberries and cheese...because who has time to sit for an actual meal? I go to bed later and wake up earlier...because children don't sleep past dawn, apparently. And spiritually? Don't even get me started. I've completely missed the last two sessions in the First5 app (Proverbs 31 Ministries), and I don't think I've picked up my Bible outside of church and study sessions. All around, my Christmas season lifestyle is not a healthy one. So, why do I do it?
FOMO. Fear of missing out. (Don't worry. I had to Google it the first time I heard it too.)
To quote Steven Tyler, "I don't want to miss a thing!" I love being involved and volunteering. It makes my Grinch heart grow a million sizes. But, I obviously have trouble prioritizing. Lucky for me, I have a God that knows my mind and heart inside and out. He knows my limits, and He knows I've reached them. How do I know this? Because He told me. No, I didn't have a night startling conversation with God like Samuel (although, how amazingly awesome would that be?). He told me through love - His love through others to be exact, and this is how.
Two weeks ago, our Bible study leader gave each of us a women's devotional CD from Lifeway. I popped that sucker in on the way home, and there He was. I cried. I prayed. I worshiped the whole way home. Over the next few days, my car rides became personal study sessions and times of reflection and profession of my love for my Savior. It was precisely what I needed, but He wasn't done. Next up, He got to me through a fellow co-worker. This woman is a faithful sister in Christ, and she is severely (but lovingly) blunt. As I went over all the things I had coming up in the coming weeks, she said, "What is wrong with you? I thought you were smart! Hasn't your Bible study gone over priorities yet?" It was like God was standing right there smacking the sense into me. I tried to argue that it was my duty as a mother, friend.....blah blah blah.....yeah, she was right. He was right. It was time for me to bite the bullet and make some changes.
While my calendar is still quite full, I have rearranged it, as well my mind and heart. It's really hard to admit you can't do it all, but God's grace is the most wonderful gift. While all He wants is our love and devotion, we tend to let life get a little too much in the way. We neglect ourselves and in turn neglect our Lord. My spiritual life isn't quite back to where it needs to be, but with His help - His grace - I'm back on the right track. I'm even eating actual meals now. Before you know it, I may even get a full night's sleep! Who am I kidding...my children are definitely not going to let that happen. Let's pray for one another during this holiday season. Whether your a mom, wife, sister, friend - whatever - let's just pray. Let's pray we don't lose focus. Let's pray we don't run ourselves into the ground. Let's pray we remember we have a God that loves us no matter how busy our lives seem to get.
"The grace that saved us also preserves us. We may lose [our perspective]. But we never lose our hope. Why? Because God has His hold on us." - Max Lucado from Because of Bethlehem
