Cancel my subscription please!

January 6, 2016

I just cancelled my Glamour and InStyle subscriptions. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. I've had those subscriptions since college. I loved perusing the glossy pages of the latest runway trends, outfit ideas, and makeup trends. The "Hey, It's Ok" section of Glamour was my guide for life. I even have a Pinterest board dedicated to it. I haven't read the first issue since April of last year. They arrive in the mailbox and go directly to a pile. Yesterday, I decided to at least go through a few from the end of the year. I couldn't do it. Now, let me explain that I will always love clothes, purses, shoes, jewelry, makeup, and everything in general about style. But unlike my 25 year old self, I no longer worship it. Couture worth more than my house payment now makes me cringe. Bags that cost more than I make in a quarter make me question sanity.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the art behind great style pieces. Coco Chanel was a master. The work Zac Posen puts into one gown is mind blowing. (You should follow him on Instagram. Watching how he work with pleating and draping is just mind blowing.) Kate Spade accessories will always have a place in my closet. I just don't long for them anymore. I now long to fill my mind and heart with the Word and the Spirit. It feels really weird to want this. Weird, but good.

Oh, here we go. I'm slowly turning into one of those people I hide on Facebook. No, not entirely. But I am different. I like being different. I'm more peaceful. I'm more hopeful. I like the fact that fashion magazines don't bring me joy. I love the fact that reading the Bible with new eyes and understanding makes me giddy and yearn to learn more. I feel like the Israelites consecrating themselves before crossing the Jordan on their way to conquer Jericho (Joshua 3). Wendy Pope (First 5) says, "Purifying ourselves aligns our hearts with God's heart." Truth, sister. Truth.

Turning my attention to God in the past few months has been so fulfilling. The changes in my heart are immense. The changes to my attitude are becoming more noticeable. I'm still me. I'll always be me. I'm just becoming a better version of me. The version that seeks joy in everything. The version that tries to be a light for others. The version that worries less. The version that spews love. I have so much work to do. There will always be work to do. This mouth of mine will always need cultivating. My judgmental spirit will always need direction. But, this is a labor I don't mind pushing through.

So, I no longer need a monthly remind of what Kendall Jenner is wearing. It's different, but exciting. I'm looking to the Big Guy upstairs with fresh eyes and an eager heart.