Raising Boys to Respect Girls

October 16, 2017

October 11th was the International Day of the Girl. Being a boy mom, I didn't think much of it. I casually looked at posts brandishing the hashtag and went about my day. As I played with my youngest, I started making mental notes of all the things we needed to start going over with him - the alphabet, numbers, phrases, etc. My brain naturally went from educational teachings to moral teachings, and in that moment, I had a realization. Even though both of my children are boys, I shouldn't brush off recognition or celebration of girls. On the contrary, I should emphasize them.


Girls are amazing. They do hard and holy things, and they work hard to change the world. (Ann Voskamp) We have to teach our boys to value them as they value themselves. We must teach them that real men hallow women (Ann Voskamp) and vice versa. Our boys need to understand how every single person on this earth matters. Regardless of gender, we are all God's people. He made all of us in His image and loves all of our differences. Gender equality is of the utmost importance. Understanding personal boundaries is a necessity. It is our job to show them that being kind and respectful can have profound effects on our fellow human beings. When we treat each other as equals, we can work harder - together - to promote the greater good.


So, where do we start? We start at home. We lead by example. Mothers and fathers should be reverent, while working together to build up their family. We are the first and most important role models our children have. If you want your sons to grow up with full hearts and open minds, you too must have full hearts and open minds. Basically, we need to practice what we preach. We need to open our Bibles to show them how God lifted up women in history and made them heroes. We need to lead our sons through the scripture giving them examples of how the humility and love of Jesus Christ saved women in need and led them to do great and wonderful things.


No girl should live in fear. No girl should feel disrespected because of her gender. No girl should feel less than what she is - a daughter of the One True King. It is our responsibility to raise sons who understand and live out these concepts. We may not be able to change the narrative in our lifetime, but we can raise a more loving and humble generation that embraces faith and a true understanding of one another.

Eyes (and Ears) on the Prize

September 9, 2017

For the past year, I've been listening to contemporary Christian music, pretty much exclusively, while I'm in the car - well, when the tiny dictators in the backseat aren't demanding to watch Trolls or Frozen. It's not because I think listening to pop music is wrong. It's just a preference for me right now.  Trust me, there are still times when I break out the ol' Hanson or Taylor Swift playlists I have on Spotify, but for the most part my radio is on J103.

Listening to worship music centers my soul. It helps me keep a Christian perspective in a world that wants me to turn everywhere but to Christ. I am, and have always been, easily influenced by music and marketing. In order for me to keep my eyes on the Savior, I have made certain changes to ensure the right things are influencing my mind, and ultimately my behavior. Music changes my demeanor. It changes the way I talk and what I talk about. So, it makes complete sense for me to switch gears away from the Top 40.

Last week, I downloaded both of Taylor Swift's new songs. While I wasn't too crazy about them in the beginning, I've been listening to them - instead of J103. They're now on repeat in my head. They're all I hear. As I drove home last night, I found myself flipping my tuner from J103 to KISS FM to see if they were on. When they weren't, I flipped over to the other Top 40 station. Still no Taylor Swift. Frustrated, I flipped back over to J103, like it was a chore. Upon sensing my irritation, I felt instant guilt. Why? Like I said, I don't think listening to Taylor Swift or any other pop music is wrong. But still, my heart felt completely conscience-stricken.

Turning into my street, I turned off the radio. In silence I started thinking about how flipping radio stations is the perfect metaphor for Christian living. Once you accept your salvation and place your faith in Jesus, you want to do better. You want to put your whole heart and focus toward Heaven. The more you learn of God's love and how wonderful His grace truly is, the better you want to be for Him. You want to worship. You want to pray. You want to become more like Jesus because He was perfect. But, the world you know still catches your attention. Your sinful nature still calls to you, because unlike Jesus, you are not perfect. You are easily tempted. There will be times you give in and "flip to a different station". There will be times your focus changes from the Holy One to something else.

But, we are lucky. Jesus didn't leave us here without help. He left us with the Holy Spirit. He is our guide and our advocate. He helps us navigate our new life after accepting Christ.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself interjects for us with wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts, knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with God's will. Romans 8:26-27

So, was my feeling of regret coming from the Spirit? Was he gently reminding me how easy it is for me to simply change stations and lose sight of what is truly most important to me? Honestly, I think so, and once again I am grateful for his guidance. He knows my heart and habits. He knew the difference between my casual station flip and this new, calculated one. He realized I needed to get back on the right station before I made any changes that would distance me from God.

With all this being said, I'm going to reiterate that my listening to contemporary Christian radio is a personal choice. I'm not in any way, shape, or form judging anyone for listening to Top 40. Every single one of us is different, which means we all have to make different changes during our walk with God. I will still be buying the new Taylor Swift album. Heck, in two weeks I'm going to the 25th Anniversary Hanson tour when they stop in Atlanta. I will scream like a teenage girl, and I will be ridiculously happy about it. But, I will keep my mind and heart attuned to the Spirit because he knows my weaknesses better than I do.

W.W.J.D.

July 13, 2017

Do you remember the nylon W.W.J.D. bracelets from the '90s? They were awesome, and everyone was obsessed. If you didn't have one, you were basically shunned. Okay, not really, but you definitely didn't want to be the kid that didn't have one.

Mine was purple. I wore it every single day. The purpose of the bracelet was simple. In the midst of decision making, it would remind you to think like Jesus. What would He do in this situation? Based on some of the behavior exhibited by me and most of my pals donning these neon wrap wonders, this purpose and overall message was all but lost on us. I mean, we were 14. The formal operational stage of cognitive thinking isn't fully developed until you're 16. Since most adults have trouble grasping this message, I'm definitely not surprised that a bunch of middle school kids weren't all over it.

The small group I attend just wrapped up the Seamless Bible study by Angie Smith. The last week of the study focuses on the early church and how we, as Christians, should be living in this world - - so basically, W.W.J.D. Wow, who knew that a relic of my childhood would hold such clout in my 30s? Who knew it would take me almost 20 years to truly get it? That little bracelet suddenly became much more than an accessory. It became the reminder it was supposed to be for me.

John, Jesus' beloved disciple, didn't need this reminder. He understood that Jesus was, is, and always will be about love. He understood that to live like Jesus, we need to simply walk like Jesus. In 1 John, he gives us instructions on how to follow in the Savior's footsteps.

• Walk in light - Jesus is the Light of the World. Walk in light with Him, and you will be purified by the blood He shed on the cross to save us from God's wrath. 
• Confess our sins - He is faithful and will forgive us.
• Obey His commands - Rules are in place for a reason. Following the rules brings you closer to God. There's a reason Jesus was perfect. He obeyed the Father in everything He asked. Obviously, we're not going to be perfect, but we don't have to worry because God's grace is boundless. But, we should still try to follow His commands as closely as possible. The more you love God, the less you'll want to sin - and the more you'll want to please Him. 
• Do not love the world or anything in it - Nothing in this world can or will give you what Jesus gave you on the cross. "The world and all its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."
• Love one another - the greatest commandment given to us by Jesus in John 13:34-35, "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." This one is pretty straight forward. You can't walk around saying you follow Christ but ultimately hate the people around you. That's not how it works. Yes, it's very difficult to love everyone, but that's what we're tasked with. We are all sinners, and Jesus loves every single one of us. So, W.W.J.D and spread that love around. 
• Don't deny Jesus - denying Christ means you deny God. They are a package deal. You can't claim the Father without the Son. 

Now, I have no clue where to find my purple bracelet. My guess is I lost it, which strangely is metaphor for my life after the W.W.J.D. fad. While I never stopped believing in the Savior, I made zero effort to further my spiritual life and please God the Father by studying His Word and doing His work. 

I learned today via Wikipedia that the church who originally made the W.W.J.D. bracelets created a follow up campaign called F.R.O.G. These new bracelets were to be worn with the original bracelets because "What Would Jesus Do?" Well, He would "Fully Rely On God."  Isn't that nifty? At my current walk with God, this is just beautiful. And no matter where you are on your journey with Christ, it's the reminder we all need on a daily basis. 

BRB - while I go buy the grown up version of this bracelet right now. 

Your Jesus is Showing

April 24, 2017

It had rained all night and was still raining.  We were up half an hour later than usual, and I had nothing ready. My husband and oldest son were out of town, which left only the baby and myself to go about our usual Sunday activities, but the weather and their absence had thrown us out of sync. You would think getting ready for church with only one kid, instead of two, would be easier. Well, apparently it isn't. Not for me at least.

We pull up in the parking lot 5 minutes into church service. It started raining harder. Great! I get the baby to the nursery and land in my seat during the call to offering. Upon opening this week's sermon notes, I read the title - "The Resurrection Difference". We had just finished our Easter message the week before and were wrapping up the life of Jesus here on earth before moving on to our next study. I knew the story about Jesus revealing Himself to Mary, the disciples, and so many more. It's one of my favorite stories because of what the resurrection means for us. So, I was happy to see it was on the docket for the service that day. I knew I would enjoy the message, but I had no idea just how much.

I left church with a renewed sense of joy. Seriously, my soul was on fire! Have you ever had a sermon do this to you? You just know God sent that message for you alone. He knew what you needed to hear and when you needed to hear it? Although I usually enjoy our weekly message, it's not every Sunday that I get this feeling. So what was different this week?

"The Resurrection Difference" wasn't just about the Resurrection itself. It was about purpose. Even more so, it was about our purpose. The sacrifice made for us was more than just a covenant fulfilled by God. It was everything. Because Christ is alive, we are powerful. Because Christ is alive, we are strong. Because Christ is alive, we are blameless and have a glorious future. As our pastor rolled out each point, I was emblazoned with a new reason. How exciting to be reminded that the Holy Spirit is in us - alive and bold?

Jesus tells us to "go and make disciples of all nations". As Christians, it's our job to share the teachings of Jesus. Our purpose is to minister to others.  But seriously, isn't the idea of walking up to someone you don't know and talking to them about Jesus a little terrifying? If you said no, oh my gosh...teach me your ways because it down right scares me. Now, our pastor doesn't know this about me. He had no idea I had been wrestling with the Holy Spirit over ministering to others like we were Jacob and God in the desert. But God knew because our sermon closed with this, "we never know what living a life for Christ can do for someone else. Go out and make a difference. Act like He's alive. Not just on Sunday...but every day."

Woah. Okay, Holy Spirit. You win.

Yep, I hear you, Lord. Stop thinking about me, and start thinking about others. It's time to put some big girl panties on and move forward. What if I'm able to introduce one person to this glorious future? What if that one person is able to turn around and share their new relationship with God with someone else?  My initial interaction of ministering for His honor and glory could be a domino effect that could introduce an insurmountable amount of people in this world to Jesus. So, from now on, my Jesus will be showing. Fear cannot overtake me, and He won't let it.

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. 

In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; 

I will not be afraid. 

What can mortal man do to me?

- Psalm 56: 3-4

Pixar is giving me all the feels.

April 26, 2017

For a 32 year old woman, I have a lot of sentimental emotions for Lightning McQueen. Yes, you read that right. I said, Lightning McQueen - as in Ka-Chow - as in #95 - as in a computer animated, precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics. If you still have zero clue what I'm referring to here, I'm talking about the animated race car from the Pixar/Disney movie series, Cars.

Lightning is a cherry red stock car with a bad attitude that gets stuck in a small town full of some fun characters that eventually help him see what's really important about life. It's a great story, and it's fun to watch. But, this isn't why I'm talking about a fictional race car.

This is why. 

This precious little dude is obsessed with Cars. Cars 1 and 2 are his favorite movies. He owns almost every single die cast model from the movies and the Cars Toons shorts. He has hats, shirts, shorts, tennis shoes, luggage, towels, bed sheets, furniture, curtains, pajamas, and even toddler briefs that feature the faces of Lightning McQueen and friends.  He knows all the racers and Radiator Springs crew names by memory. And, bless his heart - he goes around humming the instrumental theme song to Cars 2. 

This kid is invested 100% into the Cars franchise. He asks me if we can go to the World Grand Prix at least 3 times a week. When we found out Cars 3 was happening, we all got ridiculously excited. The teaser trailer came out at the end of last year. As soon as the link was live, we piled up on the couch and crowded around my phone to watch. Cars raced around a track. The animation was better than ever. It looked super real. All of a sudden tires start screeching. McQueen is up in the air, upside down, eyes closed, and breathing what may possibly be his last breath. My little dude's face turns cold, and his eyes are huge. Tears are beginning to form as he quietly, but frantically says, "Oh no....mommy?" It's too late. I'm crying. 

Come on Pixar! What have you done? I. Am. FREAKING. Out! How did I just let me 3 year old watch his favorite Disney character of all time and all around hero have a horrible, life changing accident in vivid animation? I couldn't get the trailer to go away fast enough. He was so upset, and I felt like dirt. His little eyes were still watery as I explained that Lightning just had an accident because he was running too fast and would totally fine. After a few minutes, all was well, and we was off to something else. I, however, was not fine. Why was I crying? Could the death of an animated race car seriously bring me to my knees? The answer to that question is "most definitely yes". Not because of my love for McQueen, but because of my love for my little guy. 

Isn't it funny how we, as mothers, completely lose ourselves sometimes in our kids? I would do absolutely anything to make sure McQueen is okay in this next movie. I will straight up march on Pixar if he's not! No sir, John Lasseter. You will not be making my baby cry today. I'm laughing as I write this, but it is so true. Why else would I watch Cars 2 a thousand times in a row without blinking an eye. Is it because I really think the concept of Mater being a spy is awesome? Most definitely not. (I'm really hoping Cars 3 pretends Cars 2 didn't happen.) It's because I love that child and never want him to hurt. I'm not completely naive. He'll feel these emotions one day. But, I will do my best to get him through them fairly unscathed. 

Crying along with my toddler over a cartoon makes me think of Jesus crying over the death of Lazarus. His compassion is definitely something to emulate. Being more like Jesus is something I strive for on a daily basis. I fail...a lot. When I triumph, I praise the Father for sending us such a wonderful example. 

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

Ephesians 5:1-2

One of my constant prayer requests is to be more compassionate. I guess it's only fitting that God used a Disney character to teach me lesson. He definitely gets me.