#boylife

March 16, 2018

I was raised as an only child in a single parent home. Growing up with my mom was glorious! We lived in a split level home (that she bought - #girlpower) on a quiet street in a typical Southern town. Out of three bedrooms, my toys and I occupied two. My playroom was filled with Barbies, Barbie houses, and Barbie accessories. My bedroom was wall to wall Disney princesses. It was the perfect girl room. Shades of pink covered everything from my walls to my clothes. My mom's room was equally amazing. Her bed was adorned with fluffy, decorative pillows. Her dresser displayed a beautiful, wooden jewelry box and delicate picture frames. Our kitchen and bathroom had the towels you can use and the towels you're not supposed to use. The fridge was consistently stocked with Diet Coke. We even had a Little Debbie drawer - because cold Fudge Rounds are the bomb. Our haven of femininity was practically perfect in every way, and I couldn't wait to have a home of my own one day to mimic this perfection.

In 2005, I married my Prince Charming, and I was so excited to set up house. My plans were extensive and included an embarrassing amount of picture frames. We registered for beautiful towels and the cutest plate set. We painted the walls and picked out the most awesome wallpaper I had ever seen for the kitchen. Everything was going smoothly...until we actually moved in together.

Y'all...boys are gross. Like, really gross, and I had no idea. They leave stuff everywhere. They USE the towels you're not supposed to touch. They don't like to sleep under fluffy comforters and decorative throw pillows. They constantly question your sanity when you put all the chocolate in the fridge. My new, co-ed life was a shock! My plans weren't going well at all! For my own sanity, I immediately put away the breakable knick-knacks and fancy towels. There's only so many times you can find dirty finger smudges on a decorative towel before you lose your mind. "I'll use these another day," I would tell myself. Well, another day continually got postponed, and the majority of the girly things I had grown up with were either packed up or given away. Not because my husband made me (because believe me...that would be another story for another day), but because an apartment filled with game consoles and Star Wars books just didn't jive with Gone With the Wind posters and floral duvet covers.

After several years and two moves, we became pregnant with our first child, and I just knew it was going to be a girl. I quietly began planning a female rebellion. If this kid is a girl, we've got this. The husband will be outnumbered. We will have throw pillows! There will be wall to wall picture frames! We'll buy all the pink things! But at 16 weeks, the ultrasound tech sided with the other team and told us we were having a boy. While overjoyed at having a healthy baby boy, my dreams of restoring some femininity to the house were lost. Over the next four and half years (and with the addition of a second baby boy), our house became a toddler bachelor pad. My living room is filled with diecast cars, building blocks, trains, and plastic animals. My bathroom is covered in pee. Seriously, COVERED. My dining room table is adorned with Lightning McQueen place mats, and my all of my extra closet space is filled with tiny Polo shirts and novelty tees.

But you know what? I wouldn't change a thing. Sure, I see the bedding section at Target and yearn for pinker days, but my cheese puff-eating toddler sitting in the buggy screaming for more snacks always brings me around. Isn't it funny how we think we know what we want, but God knows better? We make frilly, pink plans and He laughs. He knew exactly what I needed and how to get me there. My boys - husband included - have changed me for the better. Our home may not be full of fancy pillows and towels, but it is full of equal parts love and happiness. One day, when my sweet boys leave the nest, I'll have my chance. I've watched enough Fixer Upper to think I'm the Joanna Gaines of the Southeast, and it also helps that all of my husband's things have already been pushed into one room because...toys. (Am I right? So. Many. Toys.) But for now, I'm happy as clam, and I'll take my home just as it is.

Pixar is giving me all the feels.

April 26, 2017

For a 32 year old woman, I have a lot of sentimental emotions for Lightning McQueen. Yes, you read that right. I said, Lightning McQueen - as in Ka-Chow - as in #95 - as in a computer animated, precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics. If you still have zero clue what I'm referring to here, I'm talking about the animated race car from the Pixar/Disney movie series, Cars.

Lightning is a cherry red stock car with a bad attitude that gets stuck in a small town full of some fun characters that eventually help him see what's really important about life. It's a great story, and it's fun to watch. But, this isn't why I'm talking about a fictional race car.

This is why. 

This precious little dude is obsessed with Cars. Cars 1 and 2 are his favorite movies. He owns almost every single die cast model from the movies and the Cars Toons shorts. He has hats, shirts, shorts, tennis shoes, luggage, towels, bed sheets, furniture, curtains, pajamas, and even toddler briefs that feature the faces of Lightning McQueen and friends.  He knows all the racers and Radiator Springs crew names by memory. And, bless his heart - he goes around humming the instrumental theme song to Cars 2. 

This kid is invested 100% into the Cars franchise. He asks me if we can go to the World Grand Prix at least 3 times a week. When we found out Cars 3 was happening, we all got ridiculously excited. The teaser trailer came out at the end of last year. As soon as the link was live, we piled up on the couch and crowded around my phone to watch. Cars raced around a track. The animation was better than ever. It looked super real. All of a sudden tires start screeching. McQueen is up in the air, upside down, eyes closed, and breathing what may possibly be his last breath. My little dude's face turns cold, and his eyes are huge. Tears are beginning to form as he quietly, but frantically says, "Oh no....mommy?" It's too late. I'm crying. 

Come on Pixar! What have you done? I. Am. FREAKING. Out! How did I just let me 3 year old watch his favorite Disney character of all time and all around hero have a horrible, life changing accident in vivid animation? I couldn't get the trailer to go away fast enough. He was so upset, and I felt like dirt. His little eyes were still watery as I explained that Lightning just had an accident because he was running too fast and would totally fine. After a few minutes, all was well, and we was off to something else. I, however, was not fine. Why was I crying? Could the death of an animated race car seriously bring me to my knees? The answer to that question is "most definitely yes". Not because of my love for McQueen, but because of my love for my little guy. 

Isn't it funny how we, as mothers, completely lose ourselves sometimes in our kids? I would do absolutely anything to make sure McQueen is okay in this next movie. I will straight up march on Pixar if he's not! No sir, John Lasseter. You will not be making my baby cry today. I'm laughing as I write this, but it is so true. Why else would I watch Cars 2 a thousand times in a row without blinking an eye. Is it because I really think the concept of Mater being a spy is awesome? Most definitely not. (I'm really hoping Cars 3 pretends Cars 2 didn't happen.) It's because I love that child and never want him to hurt. I'm not completely naive. He'll feel these emotions one day. But, I will do my best to get him through them fairly unscathed. 

Crying along with my toddler over a cartoon makes me think of Jesus crying over the death of Lazarus. His compassion is definitely something to emulate. Being more like Jesus is something I strive for on a daily basis. I fail...a lot. When I triumph, I praise the Father for sending us such a wonderful example. 

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

Ephesians 5:1-2

One of my constant prayer requests is to be more compassionate. I guess it's only fitting that God used a Disney character to teach me lesson. He definitely gets me.

Think of a Wonderful Thought

March 9, 2017

(Full disclosure: I started this on March 9th and didn't finish it until a month later. Adulting is hard.)

A little over a week ago, our family made the trek to Walt Disney World. It wasn't our first time, and it certainly won't be our last. I initially wrote a "Countdown to Disney" blog, but I thought it was a bit trite, so it's long gone. If my boys read this later, I want them to truly understand what these trips with them and my husband mean to me. The initial countdown just wasn't doing it for me. So, here we go.

My husband and I have been to Disney more times than we can count. I completely understand this isn't the norm. Disney vacations are not the cheapest of vacations, and we are very grateful for the trips we've been able to experience. Phillip's trips started much earlier than mine and came more frequent. Before we were engaged, I had been 3 times. One of those was with family, and the other two were with our high school marching band. After high school, we both went with some friends on our senior trip, and I'm pretty sure we've been almost every year since.

In 2003, we were engaged in front of Cinderella Castle during one of the first showings of Wishes. In 2005, we were married at Disney's Wedding Pavilion.

In 2012, we found out we were having our oldest while staying at Pop Century Resort. In 2013, we announced his pending arrival. 

Little brother was announced in Fantasyland in 2015. 

Both boys have now been multiple times. They've both experienced first haircuts at Harmony Barbershop. They've both had magical moments with Cast Members and characters. They've both thrown up either on the way down to or on the way back from Florida. (Thanks little dudes.)

During this last trip, I had a moment of realization and complete bliss. Of course, I immediately posted it on Instagram....because #2017.

I seriously don't know why God chose this place for us. It's brought so much happiness to our little family, and I love it so much. My only hope is that our boys can understand it's more than just a theme park to us. It's the setting for our story. It's our movie backdrop. It's a happy thought.  

XO

A letter to my boys...

February 2, 2017

My sweet boys,

We live in a fiercely imperfect world. People aren't always kind and respectful. Chivalry isn't the forethought of many. Beliefs are persecuted and ridiculed for not following popular opinion. But! Amidst the chaos, we have a constant. We have God. No matter how sinful and ridiculous the world gets, He's there. He's always watching. He loves abundantly and blesses us continuously - whether we realize it or not. His mercy and grace, unlike your fellow man's, will never run out. (Psalm 145:8)

You're my sons, and I expect you to live like the Father's Son. No, you're not going to be perfect. Goodness gracious, no. You will make mistakes. That's how you learn. However, you are going to be kind. You're going to be respectful. You're going to show compassion and love others, even when they clearly do not love you. You will show grace and mercy to everyone around you. (Mark 6-8) You will be chivalrous. You will love God with all your heart and carry that love with you to teach to the next generations. (Psalm 78:6) In doing so, you will be the breath of fresh air this world needs.

You (and anyone else on this earth) can do anything you set your mind to, as long as you put the work into it. Don't let anyone tell you can't do something because of where you're from, your religious beliefs, your gender, your family background, or your net worth. Be strong and courageous. (Joshua 1:9) I want you to have big dreams and work hard for them. Don't expect handouts. Dig in and get your hands dirty. Remember to thank God for the progress you make and blessings you receive. God is the one who provides for us. Don't forget that. (If you do, read the book of Joshua. You'll figure it out real quick.)

Respect everyone. Don't ever look down on someone because of their gender, race, or financial circumstances. We are ALL children of the King, and we should all be treated as such. Open doors. Say hello and smile. Shake hands. Pay for the order behind you. Offer prayer. Lift people up, and watch their demeanor change as they feel God's love wash over them.

Find good girls who love you more than I do (good luck with that one). Make sure they love Jesus and are as kind as you should be. Find strong girls who have worked hard on their dreams and will support you through thick and thin. Find girls who will pray with you and be your best friend. Marry them and keep your vows.

Tell your wife you love her every single day. Pray for her every single day. Marvel at her when she makes you a father. (It's hard work. Trust me. I'll be holding it over your heads for pretty much the rest of your life so you'll know what to expect when the time comes. You're welcome.) Grow strong with each other. Date continually. Keep what made you first fall in love ALIVE.

Don't worry. Ever. (Matt 6:27) Don't be anxious. Ever. (Phil 4:4-7)  Don't argue with people when they disagree with you. Don't be resentful. (2 Tim 2:23) Be yourself, but make sure you are following what is pure, lovely, commendable, and honorable. (Phil 4:8) If you're a complete dork, be a dork. Own that limited edition Nissan Rogue One (shout out to your dad!). Know all the Disney songs by heart. Watch Star Trek and read Harry Potter. Dress up for midnight premieres and know all the members of the Fellowship of the Ring. If your a jock, be a jock. Work hard. Practice. Endure the loses and praise God for the wins. Build up your team(s) and work for that MVP. Just be you.

I'm going to love you so hard for your entire life and then some. I'm going to do my part in making both of you wonderful and loving young men. I'm going to ugly cry at ALL of your graduations. I'm going to ugly cry at both of your weddings. If you sass me, you're gonna get in trouble. If you do stupid stuff, you're gonna get in trouble. If your grades start slipping because of laziness, you're gonna get in trouble. You will definitely get mad at me, but you'll forgive me and get over. (Matt 6:14-15)

I will make mistakes. All mothers do. None of us are perfect. But, I promise to learn from them and keep on swimming. God made me your mom. Through prayer and with a lot of caffeine, I will do the best job I can possibly do. God made you YOU, and I expect you to do the best job you can possibly do.

XO,
Mom