Parent Fail 101

April 5, 2018

This morning, as I'm wrestling my nearly two year old during a diaper change, my four year old comes running in the room. He's naked as a jaybird and waving his tiny underpants in the air while yelling, "Look! They've got Buzz Lightyear on them!" After declaring how amazing they were, he sat down and immediately started pulling them up his little legs. For most kids, putting on your underwear is a pretty normal ritual. Around ages 2-3, children have developed the basic gross motor skills needed to dress themselves. By ages 4-5, they usually put on their own shoes and socks. For my kiddo, it's just not happening, and we (his parents) are totally the reason why.

He was our first. We were very naive and very busy. We both worked and were usually scrambling to get from one place to the next. In the process, we ended up doing everything for this child. We fed him. We dressed him. We cleaned up for him. And now, we're kicking ourselves a little bit. Dressing a 43 pound, 3 and 1/2 foot toddler is a major workout and can be extremely frustrating. So, when he put his underwear on right side out and not backwards this morning, I saw it as an opportunity. "Alright man! Good job! You did that so well. Do you think you could go find some pants and put those on too?" He was in his room sifting through drawers before I had finished the question.

He ran back with a pair of shorts in hand and pulled them on all by himself. He was super proud of himself, so I directed him to his shirts. He picked one out and brought it too me. He also picked out shoes and socks. He needed help with all three, but I didn't care. He fought half the battle without putting up a fuss, and I was ecstatic! What made it even better was seeing what pieces he had picked out for himself. His shorts were navy, and he had picked a black, Lightning McQueen shirt. His socks were gray and covered in Pokemon, and he requested to wear his favorite navy boots. The final touch was a straw fedora with a blue and white ribbon covered in stars.


It's really tough to admit a parenting fail. In doing so, we have to own up to making a mistake, and people just love doing that don't they? I know this is my fault, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Instead, we're going to learn from it. We're gonna work on it one small step at a time!

What's something you wish you had done differently? Share it and help other parents in their journey!

#boylife

March 16, 2018

I was raised as an only child in a single parent home. Growing up with my mom was glorious! We lived in a split level home (that she bought - #girlpower) on a quiet street in a typical Southern town. Out of three bedrooms, my toys and I occupied two. My playroom was filled with Barbies, Barbie houses, and Barbie accessories. My bedroom was wall to wall Disney princesses. It was the perfect girl room. Shades of pink covered everything from my walls to my clothes. My mom's room was equally amazing. Her bed was adorned with fluffy, decorative pillows. Her dresser displayed a beautiful, wooden jewelry box and delicate picture frames. Our kitchen and bathroom had the towels you can use and the towels you're not supposed to use. The fridge was consistently stocked with Diet Coke. We even had a Little Debbie drawer - because cold Fudge Rounds are the bomb. Our haven of femininity was practically perfect in every way, and I couldn't wait to have a home of my own one day to mimic this perfection.

In 2005, I married my Prince Charming, and I was so excited to set up house. My plans were extensive and included an embarrassing amount of picture frames. We registered for beautiful towels and the cutest plate set. We painted the walls and picked out the most awesome wallpaper I had ever seen for the kitchen. Everything was going smoothly...until we actually moved in together.

Y'all...boys are gross. Like, really gross, and I had no idea. They leave stuff everywhere. They USE the towels you're not supposed to touch. They don't like to sleep under fluffy comforters and decorative throw pillows. They constantly question your sanity when you put all the chocolate in the fridge. My new, co-ed life was a shock! My plans weren't going well at all! For my own sanity, I immediately put away the breakable knick-knacks and fancy towels. There's only so many times you can find dirty finger smudges on a decorative towel before you lose your mind. "I'll use these another day," I would tell myself. Well, another day continually got postponed, and the majority of the girly things I had grown up with were either packed up or given away. Not because my husband made me (because believe me...that would be another story for another day), but because an apartment filled with game consoles and Star Wars books just didn't jive with Gone With the Wind posters and floral duvet covers.

After several years and two moves, we became pregnant with our first child, and I just knew it was going to be a girl. I quietly began planning a female rebellion. If this kid is a girl, we've got this. The husband will be outnumbered. We will have throw pillows! There will be wall to wall picture frames! We'll buy all the pink things! But at 16 weeks, the ultrasound tech sided with the other team and told us we were having a boy. While overjoyed at having a healthy baby boy, my dreams of restoring some femininity to the house were lost. Over the next four and half years (and with the addition of a second baby boy), our house became a toddler bachelor pad. My living room is filled with diecast cars, building blocks, trains, and plastic animals. My bathroom is covered in pee. Seriously, COVERED. My dining room table is adorned with Lightning McQueen place mats, and my all of my extra closet space is filled with tiny Polo shirts and novelty tees.

But you know what? I wouldn't change a thing. Sure, I see the bedding section at Target and yearn for pinker days, but my cheese puff-eating toddler sitting in the buggy screaming for more snacks always brings me around. Isn't it funny how we think we know what we want, but God knows better? We make frilly, pink plans and He laughs. He knew exactly what I needed and how to get me there. My boys - husband included - have changed me for the better. Our home may not be full of fancy pillows and towels, but it is full of equal parts love and happiness. One day, when my sweet boys leave the nest, I'll have my chance. I've watched enough Fixer Upper to think I'm the Joanna Gaines of the Southeast, and it also helps that all of my husband's things have already been pushed into one room because...toys. (Am I right? So. Many. Toys.) But for now, I'm happy as clam, and I'll take my home just as it is.

I don't want to grow up.

February 16, 2017

Isn't it funny how little kids always want to be grown ups and grown ups always want to be little kids? Adulting is hard, y'all. Some days, I just can't do it. I'll put on leggings, my "I Can't Adult Today" t-shirt, put on zero makeup, and resign myself to eating cookies all day. Real life...like real adult life can kick you right in the tail sometimes. Bills, appointments, work and family schedules, health issues....broccoli...are all here to make our lives just miserable.  How do we combat this misery?

Normally, I would buy the biggest latte I could find and gorge myself on chocolate chip cookies. Since getting into Bible study, I've definitely started taking a different approach. Now, I'm not gonna lie. The latte is still part of my new approach. I love lattes. However, I now reach for my Bible instead of the Chip Ahoy because God's Word tells us everything we need to know about combating misery. My friend (and awesome Bible study leader) Julia calls it life's handbook. I can think of no better comparison.

The gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) follow Jesus during His time on earth. If you don't want to read anything else in the Bible or you're not a believer, I fully encourage you to read the gospels.  As someone who has been a believer for the majority of her life, it's super embarrassing for me to say that I just started reading these books at the end of last year. Now that I'm studying them, I am blown away by what I've been missing, and I absolutely have to share how these books are getting me through life. Jesus was inspiring when He was here. He did remarkable things and spoke about the spiritual life with such zeal and confidence. Through His teachings, you can't help but love harder, show grace more often, and feel a peace that can't be found anywhere else.

In Matthew 6, Jesus tells us not to worry. We can't add a single hour to our lives through worry. (Matt 6:27). Jesus is all we need both physically and mentally (Matt 6:25-34). If we go to Him in prayer with thanksgiving and give all our worry and anxiety over to Him, He will provide for us. It may not be how you want Him to provide. Life may actually get harder before it gets better, but His plan is always in motion. He will stick with you as long as you stick with Him. Seriously, read the last part of Joshua and all of Judges. If God continues to have Israel's back after all they do, He will always be with all of us. Knowing this gives me amazing comfort. The majority of my worries have melted away since learning more about the Heavenly Father and the Son, but sometimes life breaks me down. I let my guard down, and Satan tries to break down the comforting walls God has built up around my heart and mind. He ramps up my anxiety and tries to make me forget the One who loves me and cares for me.

For example: yesterday, I cleaned up toddler vomit out of my bed, toddler poop out of my bathroom floor, and wiped up more snot than I care to mention. I started to lose it around 5 o'clock. I became anxious and could feel my heart rate increasing. I made the decision to stop and pray. I had to pray hard - real hard. I thanked God for my boys and allowing me to be their mom. I thanked God for the love and grace He covers me with even when I've allowed myself to become overwhelmed. I asked for comfort, peace, and relief. As my heart rate started to come back down, my mom walked through the door like a prince on a white horse. She took the toddler, gave me Tylenol, and let me go run errands. She was actually later than normal, but God knew when to send her. In no way am I comparing my #momlife to the trials Israel faces in Joshua and Judges. I am, however, trying to point out that there is no problem too big or too small for God. He goes before us and combats the enemy who takes all forms. We have nothing to fear.

So, when life throws you a curve ball. Pick up your Bible and read about Jesus. Pray and be thankful for this life...even if it kinda sucks at the moment. Give glory to God in everything you do, even if it's cleaning poop off your Kate Spade shower curtain. If you still want to curl up on the couch and watch Netflix after, that's ok too. God understands that we need to recharge. But, if we recharge with Him, we'll only have to binge one season of Fuller House instead of both. ;)

And if you need a laugh (and possible Netflix recommendation), go watch Hook. It'll remind you that being a grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be. Remember to love and let others love you! That's something we can all get behind!

Mommy, we go zoo and the mall?

January 19, 2017

Yesterday morning, my oldest woke up and immediately (through immense giggling) asked, "Mommy, we go zoo and the mall?" The mall and the zoo? Of course my kid just asked to go to the mall and the zoo. He's so basic. My first response was 'no'. Sorry kid. There's too much to do at home today. The sink is full (both sides). The clothes need to be folded. I'm pretty sure the toilet is growing a new species of mold, and there are puffs on every inch of floor we own.

He was crushed. He resigned himself to his morning coffee and paper (apple juice and YouTube Kids on his tablet) and went to sit in his favorite chair. I text the husband to tell him about the morning's request. His response, "Well?" Of course that was his response.  He's as bad as the toddler. But, it got me to thinking. Maybe we should? No. Stop. Get this house in order! My brain kept shutting me down. I felt like that guy in the Disney animation short before Moana.

As my brain contined shutting me down, my heart kept looking at that toddler face. One day, that face won't be in that chair. One day, that will be the face of a man that won't need you to take him to the zoo. One day, he'll drive himself and leave your butt at home because you still have house work to do. At that moment, a dreary day turned into a day for an adventure. The clouds parted. Sunbeams began pouring into our living room windows. What little rain had fallen was now completely stopped. It's like God was saying...get up and go. He needs this. You need this.

An hour later, we were in the van headed to the zoo. You know what? It was ridiculously wonderful. The weather continued to be perfect. The smiles on both my boys' faces were smiles I'll never forget. Pure joy. "Let's go to the goats! Let's see the monkeys! Time for the carousel!" He was so excited. He was so good. He listened. Seriously...listened. When it came time to leave, he didn't even freak out. Woah.

Instead of the mall, we headed to Target. Target is anything but blissful when you're with a toddler and an infant, but we were already on an adventure - so what the heck. But again, I was stunned. It actually was blissful. I even got to walk through the clothes section. Granted, it was for like 3 minutes. But! It happened. He sang me songs. We chilled out at Starbucks. He ate some Peanut M&Ms. Pure joy again.

On the drive home, I realized I was euphoric -- and not just because of the last minute Chick-fil-A run before heading to the interstate. I thought to myself...I would have missed all of this to clean a toilet - to mop the floors - to dust some shelves. I would've missed smiles, songs, giggles, everything. I thanked God the whole way home. Sunbeams were still peaking through fluffy clouds. Despicable Me was playing over the van speakers. I was teary-eyed and thanking my Heavenly Father for reminding me to be a mother, not a housekeeper. My mind kept pulling to Psalm 118:24 - let us rejoice today and be glad. Amen!

Were both boys 100% perfect all day long? Absolutely not. But the day we had was perfect, and I will pray for a million more days just like it. My house is still dirty. I did manage the dishes and the clothes today. The rest will get done...eventually. :)